Right Where I'm Suppose To Be

Do you ever feel like you're always not where you should be? That you may have missed the mark, misread the directions, were confused by the static in the atmosphere?  Before arriving in Venezuela, I feared with great confidence that I indeed was living in a perpetual state of such mis-belonging, feeling like a vagabond in my skin at times. Threatened by confidence in my short term future by a sudden and most shocking change of direction from certainty to complete and utter lostness, I began to doubt my ability to discern God's voice and faltered in  not only my ability to trust but my willingness.  It had all made sense, all the cards had fallen in the right place. I'd work for the first time in three summers and begin preparing for my future after graduating in December. I'd work on my art work...because that's what artists do you see. It made sense. I'd begin to discover what it looks like to walk with Jesus in a church community without Cru meetings every week and hundreds of students challenging me to seek him, I'd grow in my independence walking with Jesus. But the perfect job fell through and I was left with confusion and anger towards the Lord, followed by fear and than anger.... All with less than two months before summer. Venezuela. A new word I kept hearing from the Lord. Or was it God? Or was it my own selfish desires spurring me on to make self-motivated decisions. Going away for the fourth summer in a row didn't make sense to anyone.. Including myself. So how could it have been?  Thousands of questioned flooded my head for the weeks to come, and finally I said yes to the urging of my Spirit within mine, daring to go against my flesh and many voices around me, and say yes to coming to Venezuela...  So this seems a little drawn out and perhaps its pointless information.. But I think I'm going somewhere with this.. So just hold on...  Can we know where God wants us to be?Can I know God's will for my life now?  Does God still speak to us today in ways we can truly know and understand? Questions like this flooded my mind as I agreed by faith to say yes to the Lord. Have you ever found yourself asking these questions?  I believe the answers to all of such questions is yes, one-hundred times over. God's word has made it very clear that we have direct connection to Himself via His Holy Spirit living and working in and through us. It says that we have the very mind of Christ. He says delight yourself in the Lord and He'll grant you the desires of your heart. (because when we are seeking Him our desires will be His desires.. How crazy is that?!)  So how does this all relate to anything i've previously said? Well to be honest.... Im still trying to process through that.. But I believe God has indeed shed some light on the subject.  Since being in Venezuela, Abba has convinced me with His love and gracious blessings and the reality of how badly I need Him that I indeed am exactly where I am suppose to be. In this very moment, writing these very words.. Sometimes I know because of the way He's chosen to show to me His amazing love through amazing friendships with joy-filled, Jesus-loving Venezuelans named Haifa, or it's the scent in the early morning air when no one else is awake but these cute yellow birds and I see the sun rising over the surround mountains... I've been convinced by the challenges and sufferings i've wrestle through since being here... And even by the wretchedness of my sin that's been revealed... When it comes down to it.. God's sovereignty and absolutely relentless love has convinced me... At least for the time being that I am exactly where I am suppose to be... 

A New Covenant Partner

A New Covenant Partner While here in Venezuela we have been studying 2 Peter, it's quite a letter I must say. Peter is reminding us to walk in the way of the Lord. But as 'doers' of the world, so many times our motives and sinfulness can prevent us from pursuing such characteristics Peter mentions because we waste so much time mulling over our motives when we should just be acting out of faith because by God's grace alone are we able to even pursue godliness.  So many of us wrestle with the idea of 'works', everyone usually falls into one of two categories. A: you believe you attain favor and salvation by way of your 'good works' or B: you do nothing and remain idle throughout your life believing your actions no longer matter because you're covered by Jesus' blood. We often drift between the two, and are afraid to 'make every effort' as Peter says in chapter one. But the truth is, pursuing godliness, wanting to be more like Christ isn't a bad thing. It's something that Christ Himself said we should strive for!! The truth here that I am realizing is this: we walk in obedience because it gives God Glory and Honor. It's not about what I gain from being self-controlled, acting with virtue or faith or even loving the least lovable person in the world, it's not about ME! It's my about what I benefit from, it's about what I can give back to the Lord because f His great mercy and grace, because He alone is worthy of all of me. Okay so... That's not even what I wanted to blog about haha.. So if you're not bored yet.. I guess keep reading.. So chapter 2 is a doosey.. chalk full of warnings that Peter give by authority of the Holy Spirit and the Prophetic Word of God. So I'm not going to sit here giving you a list of everything you shouldn't be doing but rather want to zero in on the contextual value of one verse. .. "for it would have been better for them never to have known the way of   righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them" That itself is pretty heavy, and I think the question than arises,'can someone lose their salvation after have had it'... Such a weighty question, and one that I think any follower of Jesus Christ wrestles with at some point in time in their lives... And now I'm not going to get into a theological debate here, though it's something I'm growing to love (theology.. Not debating..ha) But rather.. Want to talk about the 'act of entering into a new covenant with a new covenant partner' at the time of conversion from darkness and into God's glorious light. And I'm talking about a marriage covenant here.. Many times in Gods's word do we see evidence of this "for your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His Name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called...". Isaiah 54 Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord has their own 'wedding day' with our Beloved, we are the Bride of Christ. The old covenant with the destruction and death are abolished with one overflowing with steadfast faithfulness , scandalous Grace and a promise of relentless love. But, the wedding day is just the beginning. Just as there is more to marriage between man and women here on earth than just the day two become, so is it with our marriage to Christ. One must examine the life lived after the decision in enter into such a commitment is made, and therein lies the authenticity of ones true meaning of 'i do'.  Divorce is consuming and ravishing marriages around the world today, people treat the most sacred covenant as if it were any old lay promise ready to be broke at the slightest sign of trial, struggle. People everyday decide they have fallen out of love..  Let me tell you something friends, God will NEVER fall out of love with you, Romans 8 tells us that NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ. (if you've never read Romans 8 I recommend doing that..now perhaps?) But the reality is there is a choice on our part. The marriage covenant is not a one way street, we are either moving toward Christ, or we are moving away from Him. But moving toward Christ doesn't mean that wr have it all together. Sometimes wr are sprinting with all we have into His arms and there are days that we are crawling on our hands and knees, barely getting by. There is only in or out. There is no middle ground here.  And so again we are asking. Can we than lose our salvation.. Well this is where I am at with this most uncomfortable topic.. If one truly enters into a sacred marriage covenant with the Maker of all, the Relentless Lover, change is inevitable in their lives, they simply won't remain the same because of love of such stature ravished the heart in such a way one would never, even of they tried, be able to remain the same.  But just as some people enter into marriage here in earth without the intentions of remaining faithful through thick and thin, who 'fall out of love' when the going gets tough, I believe people can 'enter' into such a 'covenant' with God.. Which isn't really a covenant at all...  so though in this convent with the Lord, we are the adulterer, we are the  unfaithful and the liar and the cheat, God's love pierces to the heart of the  matter and rescues us from our own demise. He is our Forever Faithful Husband, to those who have said 'I do' So I think that's where I am going to leave it...  'it is no good asking for a simple religion. After all, real things are not simple' - C.S. Lewis

I'm where You want me to be..

'I know this is where you want me to be'...that's a direct quote from my journal after the first day here in Venezuela..I fought with the Lord so much and argued with Him about coming here (because that always works...ha) because I just simply couldn't figure out why coming to Venezuela for a month before I graduate in December would be advantageous for anything really.. I fought my selfish desires and my sinful nature and chose to trust I knew the voice of God the Father and was following Him here despite my walking in the dark on the situation so to speak. And thank God I did!! It seems everyday I'm understanding more and more why it is that I am here. It been one full week since we've arrived, but it seems like so much longer. Perhaps it's because the friendships that I've built, with my team and Venezuelan students, have flourished and it's as if I've known them for years. Or maybe it's the fact the Lord has revealed so much to me already in this shot week about Himself and His great and steadfast love for me and about a joy that truly is made complete because of the finishe work of Jesus that is unexplainable, unspeakable and could only come by way of the gracious Holy Spirit alive and at work in my heart.. But He's also shown me the depths of my helplessness, brokenness and filth by way of my sinful nature. It's all seemed to be too much to swallow and take in in such a short time and yet God had given me the Grace.. Oh such sweet Grace, to take it all in in stride. I guess I should address though whats actually going on here in Venezuela. LOTS! God is surely on the move here in this nation and in this city. From day one on campus my team and I have experienced the transforming power of te Gospel message in the lives of students. This is not an official count, but I believe that we have probably seen nearly 15 or 20 students enter from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light!! Personally I gave the privilege of praying with three students, Ricardo, Robert and Osbellisa, when they saw the light and chose Christ, or rather responded to His call on their lives!! What a beautiful privilege that was to see their eyes light up at the sound that they could have this beautiful Jesus for themselves. Words can't describe the joy that was overflowing in my heart. Aside from the Lord God doing work on campus in and through so many, the friendships that I am building with students who are already involved in thr student movement here called Vida Estduiantil. Haifa is one of those people, she is a beautiful, energetic and life-giving spirit. She's gone with me almost everytime I've gone sharing to help translate and has been such a blessing to me! Getting to witness her share about God's love with others truly is a privilege as she's so filled with His Spirit and overflows with the Fathers Love!! I feel as if I've known her for far longer than a week as wr're gotten to share life with one another. Truth is, I could probably blog for hours about what's been going on, so I'll spare you considering most of you will probably have stopped reading now anyways.. Ha. But I will try and update again sooner this next time! Thanks for everyone who is praying for my team and i, I know God has so much more in store for us in there next two weeks!